Driving almost 90 miles on the motorway in the pouring rain, to arrive at a location where two models are staying with a professional photographer.
You're planning to shoot with each model individually for one hour each. That's it. It couldn't be simpler. Well, you're bloody wrong.
Firstly, you arrive about ten minutes early with the intention of setting up. Instead, you're invited to have a jafa cake & waste your set-up time doing nothing.
And, then when you've already been communicating with the second model about shooting in a bedroom & instead you find yourself shooting a model wearing bra & knickers on a figure nude shoot with bird shit sprayed over the window! OK, this was done with natural light & because the only lens that I had that could get that low was my 85mm f1.8 I was shooting from the other side of the room. It was an experience I would like to repeat (Not with the same model), and with better planning.
You turn up expecting to shoot two models & the only available lighting was an Elinchrom Solar Lite which couldn't get any higher that about f2.0. This was not what I was expecting. Two flash units would have been pretty nice to use.
It was advertised as tasteful erotic nude poses. Now, I was not after any explicit erotic nudes but for Pete's sake, please put some effort into it! In the end, I just ended up with the same ol' crossed-legged crap you get from the knee nazis who espouse 'I'm an art nude model'!
The second model was getting ready whilst I was shooting the first model & I still lost a quarter of my shooting time because she wasn't ready. I asked the second model to tweak her nipples & I get told that if she'd have known earlier, she would have opened the window to let a breeze in so that her nipples would get cold! Huh? What on earth does that mean? I told her I wasn't interested in shooting her tweaking her nipples, just that pert nipples look better than lazy nipples. Ah, well, who gives a crap. She obviously doesn't.
The first model who was living at the house hasn't improved since our last shoot & has the demeanor of the management trainees we regularly have at our company. Failed 2-2 graduates (If they get that far!) LOL. I just hate people who walk over other people. UOA (Up their Own Arse) is what another model told me.
So, six hours of my life, 3 1/2 of them on the motorway just to shoot some unimaginative models going through the motions! :(
I'm expecting one of them to appear on wearehairy.com some time in the near future. That would be amusing... It would make up for the way I was treated today.
It was very poorly organised by Sarah. Who stated "I've lived here since September, but Iain has lived here for over a year..." Isn't that just like saying you you pay rent to stay there & to have use of the facilities? Just one thing to say to that. UOA!